THE TERRORNAUTS

 

I haven't seen every film made by Amicus Productions, the British outfit run by producers Max Rosenberg and Milton Subotsky that was a rival to Hammer Films in the 1960s and 70s, but I think it's safe to say that the worst movie from that company has to be the 1967 science fiction story THE TERRORNAUTS. 

Actually calling this film science fiction is somewhat of an insult to the genre. THE TERRORNAUTS does have spaceships, a robot, and aliens, but it's also cheap, the pace is interminable, and the characters are dull. 

Inspired by a childhood incident, British astronomer Dr. Joe Burke (Simon Oates) is convinced he can contact beings from outer space by radio. He gets funding to create Project Startalk, and he has his own lab on the site of a large observatory. Burke, however, hasn't made or received any contact from space in four years, and his funding is in danger of being cut off. Burke and his team--assistants Ben (Stanley Meadows) and Sandy (Zena Marshall)--finally do receive a signal, but in the process of responding to it, their lab is taken straight out of the ground and captured by an alien spacecraft. On exploring the craft, Burke and his friends discover that it is up to them to take information from a dead alien race and use it to save the Earth from invaders. 

That generic plot description I just wrote makes THE TERRORNAUTS sound way more intriguing than it really is. Even with a running time of around 75 minutes, the story takes forever to get going, and director Montgomery Tully (a long-time British B-movie veteran) handles things as simply as possible. Simon Oates and Stanley Meadows are very bland actors, and Zena Marshall (who played the sexy Miss Taro in DR. NO) has little to do other than be the obligatory beautiful young woman. 

Also along for the ride inside the captured lab building is Charles Hawtrey, who plays the accountant of the foundation that has funded Project Startalk, and Patricia Hayes, who is the observatory's tea lady. The two are supposed to be the story's comic relief, but.....they're not funny. (Hawtrey appeared in a number of CARRY ON films, and he's kind of a British version of Don Knotts.) 

THE TERRORNAUTS could best be compared to a DOCTOR WHO episode made around the same time, except that the average 1960s WHO program would be way more entertaining, and have much better special effects. The FX for THE TERRORNAUTS is credited to legendary technician Les Bowie's company, but it's hard to believe Bowie would allow such slapdash work to get on the screen--one assumes he didn't have much time or much of a budget. Watching this film (or trying to stay awake and watch it, as was my experience), one gains more respect for the talents of filmmakers like Mario Bava and Antonio Margheriti, who could have easily made something much more out of this whole affair. 

Surprisingly the script was not written by Milton Subotsky, who usually penned (or tried to have input into) the majority of Amicus' features. One wonders why this movie was made at all, or at least why it was made at such a low budget and with such a lackluster cast & crew. THE TERRORNAUTS was paired with another Amicus sci-fi non-epic, THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE, for a very mediocre double bill. It must be pointed out, though, that THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE looks like a masterpiece compared to its running mate. 

It appears that Milton Subotsky was hoping that THE TERRORNAUTS would be a follow up to Amicus' two Dr. Who big screen adventures--a pair of films that were tailored to kids and those with vivid imaginations. The only thing imaginative about THE TERRORNAUTS is that it will probably put you to sleep, and then you'll dream up a scenario that's far more energetic and captivating. As far as I know, THE TERRORNAUTS has never had a major home video release in North America, and there are very good reasons for that.