Friday, May 18, 2018
More STAR WARS Spin-Offs We'd Like To See
You know there's a movie called SOLO coming out soon, right? Of course you do. And of course you know that it's gonna make a ton of money, and there's going to be even more STAR WARS movie spin-offs in the future. If Disney/Lucasfilm was smart, they'd give me a ton of money to develop these new ideas for them.....
A look at the pre-Grand Moff days of everyone's favorite high-ranking Imperial officer, who will be played by Tom Hiddleston. The most poignant line of dialogue comes when Tarkin is kicked out of the apartment of the woman who broke his heart (Blake Lively): "EVACUATE?? IN OUR MOMENT OF TRIUMPH??"
OWEN & BERU: A GALACTIC LOVE STORY
A wacky, fun-filled examination of how two regular folks (Jack Black and Kat Dennings) try to make a living on a backwater planet while raising an annoying little kid (Jake Lloyd). With Wanda Sykes as the couple's sassy landlord.
CORUSCANT: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
A fresh-faced newly elected Galactic senator named Palpatine (Daniel Radcliffe) learns how politics really works in the cesspool that is the capital of the Old Republic. Palpatine is taught how to play "the game" by a wise but corrupt elder statesman (Donald Sutherland). He also engages in an affair with a enticing senatorial page named Mon Mothma (Emma Watson).
WEDGE ANTILLES: RIGHT WITH YA, BOSS
This movie details how the earnest X-Wing pilot (Harry Styles) constantly winds up on the fringes of some of the most momentous occasions in the history of the universe, without getting a chance to take a major part. The poster tagline for this will be, "He was the Galaxy's greatest onlooker!!"
OZZEL: CLUMSY AND STUPID
In this tale, the pre-Admiral Ozzel (Jonah Hill) keeps failing his TIE fighter pilot licence test because he's always coming out of the system too close to the fire hydrant.
Everyone's favorite jibberish-spouting Sullustan (Andy Serkis) takes center stage here, as we are shown his time as a freestyle street artist during the Outer Rim Rap Wars. John Goodman plays Nien's gruff but lovable father, James "Big Jim" Nunb.